Stephen Lynch - Grand Father Lyrics: When Grandfather dies Life will be strange When Grandfather dies My whole world will change When Grandfather dies I’ll scream and I’ll yell ‘Cause I’ll be fuckin’ rich as hell So Grandfather, die Don’t keep me in suspense Oh Grandfather, cough Up that inheritance Oh Grandfather, don’t Hold on another day I love you to death But I’ve gots bills to pay A stroke would be nice Disease would be cool I’ll scatter his ashes In my new swimming pool I’ll party with heff I’ll dine with the Queen So what say we unplug that machine? Oh Grandfather, die Before the fiscal year Oh Grandfather, I Wish Kevorkian were here Oh Grandfather, fly Just take your final bow Oh Grandfather, die Family hates you anyhow For God’s sakes, you must be as old as the sun Your Social Security Number is 1 You’re deaf, dumb, and blind, and an amputee You donate your blood every time that you pee Your arthritis acts up whenever it rains You’re so old your penis has varicose veins Oh, why don’t you die, Grandpa? Why must you fight? You old motherfucker Just walk toward the goddamn light Walk toward the light, old man Walk toward the light, old man It’s all over now My granddad is dead A mysterious blow To his wrinkled old head Before I collect A small oversight But everything should work out all right I’ll start working on my grandma tonight